I had a close friend called David*. When I say close, I mean really, REALLY close. We hung out often and we were real buddies. How did we meet? He was my then-boyfriend’s friend. Whenever my then-boyfriend and I had an argument, I used to look for David and he was the only one in this world who seemed to care.
Honestly speaking, I did develop some feelings towards him but I knew nothing could ever blossom for it was nothing more than an unrequited love.
This went on between us for a really long time. He was there for me and I was there for him whenever we needed someone to be there for us.
I had a boyfriend, then another and so did he. But still, we stood by each other knowing that we will always be there for each other until one day…
I was having trouble with my current relationship and so was he. After having a few drinks, he told me that me he has feelings for me, for a long time now. I, who was not on my best state of mind did not avoid this confession but confessed my true feelings I had of him. This was when our friendship flew out the window.
I knew that he was still in love with his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend (at that time, I did not know if they were still attached) and although he did tell me that he likes me and that he wants to be with me, somehow… my intuition was telling me that he was still seeing the other girl.
Things went from bad to worse; from surreptitious get-togethers to bedrooms.
After a month, he told me he has yet to really break up with the other girl; I’ve had enough of the baloney and told him we needed to quit this bullshit. Not surprisingly, he agreed. My, did I feel used! He was a trusted friend of mine and I just could not believe it that this is happening to us. We were supposed to be friends!
We were not in talking terms for a long time since that day when I ended our “relationship”. A few days ago, he called.
Not understanding his true reasons for calling, I chatted with him as though nothing has happened in the past. We updated each other on our lives and I didn’t realize how much I missed this friend of mine. But then, I had to remind myself that the true friend I once had in him is no longer there. He is a different person now. Soon, we got off the phone.
Last night, he called again and this time, he was drunk. He started saying things about how I have always been the one there for him whenever he needed someone, and now I was the only one who truly cared for him since day one and basically about how I was the ONE.
I couldn’t understand half the things he was mumbling to himself but in my head, there was only one thought. He’s looking for someone to sleep with tonight. And I just couldn’t take the pain I felt in my heart. Once upon a time, I would have believed wholeheartedly without a doubt that he REALLY needed someone to hear him out. Now, there is this voice in my head will always be telling me to beware of his “true” intentions.
I truly regret.
I regret choosing to have him to call my own for just a moment in time when I somehow knew that a real relationship was far from beginning. If only I had chosen otherwise, at least I may still have a true friend whom I will still be able to love as I did before even if he is never to know the truth about my feelings.
1 comment:
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