What.Should.I.Do?

Dear readers,

It has been ages since I last wrote an entry for this blog. It's been so long I almost forgot that this blog ever existed in the first place!

But of course, at time like these, when I feel the sudden urge to pour my emotions and thoughts to someone and could find no one.. I remember.

You see, I'm currently facing a dilemma.

I have been in between jobs for the longest time now. It is not because I cannot find a job but I just do not know what I want to do. But today, I was having a conversation with my mom and sister and found out that my sister is interested in applying for a job with an airline company as an air stewardess. And hey! was I totally piqued by that idea!

I have always been interested in flying around the world, to see places, meet people of different cultures, etc. And what other jobs would pay me to accomplish all that?!

But unfortunately, I have a boyfriend back home and he is not entirely enthusiastic about the whole idea of having me travelling across mountains and the vast seas. In fact, he thinks lowly of the flight industry thanks to all the sleaziness that is mainly due to human error (in making proper choices) that has caused for this particular industry.

So I consulted my best friend in relations to this dilemma. She told me that if it was something I wanted to do, then by all means, go ahead... BUT, of course, to every good thing there is a downside.

I am not exactly young anymore. I am currently a quarter century old. How many years will I have left to fly around in an airplane to places that I have never been before while having to juggle my relationship that is supposed to be blossoming into a lifelong partnership. Am I risking too much? Even if it is something I have always dreamed of doing?

My boyfriend did tell me the same thing about "no harm trying" and WHEN and IF my application does get accepted, we will discuss this matter again.

One question that both my boyfriend AND friend posted to me was "where is the future in the flight industry?" which got me thinking. It is true that after experiencing a flight attendants' life, many people will not want to get out of it. But I totally believe that my case could be an exception. Why?

All my life, I have dreamed about being a good wife and a good mother. In the end, I intend to be a stay-home wife and mom. I'm sure that this is a good reason enough for me to know that I will stop flying when I do get married and decide to settle down and build a family of my own!

I cannot ignore the fact that a part of me is also afraid that - if I do try and get accepted - this will be another decision that I might regret at the end of the day. I have made enough mistakes throughout my 25 years living on this earth. However, there is also a part of me that tells me that I should do what I want to do as long as I am happy. But will I stay happy for as long as I think I would?

Life is tough. When I finally thought there is something that I would want to do and would excel in... I see the barriers that hinder my path.

Tell me, what should I do?